'AITA for telling my dad what my mom did with a pie at a grocery store?' + UPDATE (2024)

I told her she had to go tell someone because when they drop stuff on the ground at the bakery they automatically throw it away. My mom gets mad at me and tells me to leave it alone. I told her no go tell someone or at least buy it because you can’t just do that and the pie was a tad damaged I saw it. My mom gets even madder and tells me to get over it and shut up.

Anyway we got home and my mom left for a walk with the dog and I told my dad what happened. My dad got mad and told my mom what she did was wrong and she should’ve at least bought it especially cause there are freaking cameras !!

I wasn’t there when my dad and her talked about it but my mom texted me saying and I quote “Really this stupid thing you told papi. Go tell him you use pot and drank in Europe or that you are not a virgen.” So AITA for telling my dad what she did because she is extremely mad at me and I’ve never seen her like this.

Edit: Sorry for the format I’m on a phone and I don’t usually make posts. I believe I may be the a$$hole because I haven’t seen my mom act like this for awhile and she usually never does so I think I may have pushed her too far.

Edit 2: Damn I went to sleep and woke up with my post blowing up. First I’d like to address the pie itself I know I should’ve told a worker and I’ve been kicking myself over that fact but I was afraid my mom would get more angry since she was already telling me to leave with her.

Second some people seem conflicted about me telling my dad and I only told my dad because my mom acted like she did nothing and that she didn’t do anything wrong. I told my dad hoping she’d realized what she did was wrong so if she ever did do it again somehow she wouldn’t just react all rude and come to terms with it.

Obviously I was wrong but I really didn’t expect her to send a text like that. And yes I don’t have a spine I am a very quiet barely saying no type of person so unfortunately I did just easily cave into my mom.

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And on the other conflicting side where people are saying I shouldn’t be surprised since I’m hiding that from my dad. I was hiding it from my mom too until a few months ago my mom only knows that information because I told her thinking we were getting a closer relationship since that’s what she seemed to want to build as well.

I didn’t tell my dad any of that because the only personal things my dad and I talk about are school or his work and that’s it. We talk about basic things but never personal things.

My mom is usually chill like we watch Christmas movies and all but I guess it did make me realize I was getting too comfortable telling her stuff thinking that she wouldn’t use it against me. I of course will be limiting what I tell her going on and I thank all of you for your responses if means a bunch.

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

BoundaryStompingMIL said:

NTA. What your mom did is gross and unsanitary, it could make someone sick. And her response to you was vile.

Senplis said:

NTA if that pie goes unnoticed and somebody eats it they could potentially get sick. If you told them they probably would have thrown it out and not charged you since it was an accident. Your mom is being an asshole and who cares if you went to Europe and smoked, drank, and f*cked. You're grown.

[Deleted] said:

NTA - your mom is verbally abusive, and she clearly has lack of morals. she needs help. i’m so sorry you have to go through that.

BlabbyMatty said:

Uh, im pretty sure that is actually considered tampering with food. She could possibly be getting people sick. NTA.

Commenters overwhelmingly agreed OP is NTA, and her mom is a seriously morally questionable person.

Two days after her original post, she shared this update:

It’s been two days since I posted and in those two days my mom and I barely talked. We said few sentences to each other and didn’t stay in a room together for longer then 8 minutes.

Today I finally decided to have a conversation with her. I told her that telling dad what she did I admit I was in the wrong for and apologized for doing it but her text hurt. And when she said that it was like she just used what I told her and slapped it back in my face. Of course she said you told dad and that was a betrayal to me.

I told her I know it was but you leveraged my personal life and my personal affairs over my head for dad. I just told dad about an incident she didn’t even acknowledge she was in the wrong for. She avoided the pie issues and just said well you still told dad and I said I know but you were threatening my secrets that even you wouldn’t know if I didn’t tell you them.

Basically she didn’t see any issue with the message she sent me and I broke down crying in front of her because I accepted the wrongdoings I did in that situation and she just evaded all blame. I told her about my post and how people said her comment was cruel and was pointed out what people said about the comment.

She got mad mad she ignored the entire text thing and said you put this story on Facebook where people could see ? How dare you? And then I told her it was an anonymous place people don’t know who I am. She was still mad and then I told her our relationship wasn’t going to be the same and she dismissed me and I left to my room crying.

I got to my room and like 30 minutes to an hour late I got a text from my mom saying “I’m sorry I was mean but I was hurt when you did that. That’s why people say calm down before you do anything and that’s what happened to me. I was very angry at that moment.”

And I was still emotional so I ignored it plus she did it on text like damn man I told you in person. She then texted again 20-30 minutes later asking if I forgive her and I put my phone on do not disturb and went to bed.

I woke up and my mom was coming into my room. She apologized and I apologized again and then we hugged and I cried lol. She told me she didn’t mean to hurt me and she was sorry she did. And she said I’m just like her a b!tch(it’s an inside joke we have but poor choice of a word to have an inside joke with lol) and sometimes she just gets too mad and says things without thinking.

We then hugged again and she said that you know I love you and something else but I went in for another hug cause I was emotional lol. We’re going to get lunch out tomorrow(fast food) and then watch a hallmark Christmas movie as our Christmas tradition goes. I still will be a bit weary of her for a long while though because to me what she said did really hurt and I have work a bit harder to get past it.

However, I just want to thank everyone who commented on my original post. I have not mentioned the menopause thing yet but I did suggest my mom to take some CBD cause it could help ease her out(not that I know of anything).

Anywho thank you to all who commented on my original post. I appreciate every piece of advice and feedback I got and you were all so sweet. hugs to all and I hope you all had a lovely day and a beautiful rest of the year :)